THE DANNI MINOGUE OF BLOGS AND TEN THINGS NOT TO DO ON YOUR FIRST DATE

FIVE THINGS WE LEARNED FROM THIS WEEKEND

1: All about the new rules that's in place, seemingly according to Jose Chelsea are playing a handicap system in their quest for the title, nothing like a good loser huh. The title race meanwhile is wide open Chelsea still have to play Man united, both sides have to play Everton, the value bet is to find out if any bookies are offering bets on how many points the big two sides will get and maybe go on the low.
2: That there's nothing like a bit of moral support and Tony Adams assertion that David James wasn't as good as David Seaman wasn't that.
3: That our sky money is clearly going to good use, two table topping clashes involving key premiership title matches and our money gets us Villa v Portsmouth.
4: You pay for what you get, our maybe not we are cheaper, funnier and as of this weekend more accurate in our tips than the Racing post. In fact so confident am i that I'll be using the same system as the racing post to take them on.
5: The importance of saving your work or else it'll get deleted when your computer crashes and it'll never be as funny as last time around, hence this.

THIS WEEK'S BETS

CHAMPIONS LEAGUE PREVIEW

MAN UNITED V AC MILAN: The last time I predicted Man United would struggle to qualify they won 7-1 so for the good of English football I'm going to do it again and suggest that you get on the Milan draw/away double. No doubt United can beat anyone on their day but as Boro showed at the weekend they are still capable of not having their day. That was a long of way saying united are not perfect and 4.3 the win(betfred and boyle) and 3.2 the draw(boyle and paddy power) are good value on a side playing such good football in their domestic league. With injuries at the back United look vulnerable and Kaka will be key to Milan's attacking threat, the battle between Carrick and Scholes v Gattuso and Pirlo will also be key. United's pace will no doubt cause MIlan problems at the back as it would any team, but with this being a first leg and with the europan games are so tight and the importance of the away goal United themselves might not be unhappy with the draw and we would recommend a one point stake on the draw and one point stake on the Milan win.
Depending on the team news and who gets the nodd Gilardino3.8 (bet365) and Inzaghi 4.2 (paddy power) are worth a small stake on the anytime market. 0.5 pts.

CHELSEA V LIVERPOOL: Some times in life you really shouldn't get involved, like when your girlfriend asks which of those outfits works best for us or when Jose Mourinho asks if you could ref a friendly five a side training match, this game is such an occasion. The battle could be more like a chess match than football match at times, by that I mean slow and tight oh and almost resulting in full scale nuclear war by the end. If you really must have a bet then some value could be had on outside o.5 pts on either side keeping a clean sheet. Paddy power offer 2.25 on chelsea and 3.3 Liverpool keeping their sheets cleaner than an NHS hospital ward. I do actually fancy Chelsea to come through two legs but much like in Valencia, Chelsea's odds could come out after the first leg.

UEFA CUP
17:00 Osasuna (2.88) Draw (3.25) Sevilla (2.6)
19:45 Espanyol (2.65) Draw (3.2) Werder Bremen (2.8)

The Danni Minogue of europe's cup competitions continues on Thursday night under the shadow of its bigger more succesful sibling. Like Danni it remains rather harder to get over-excited over, something false about it. From a betting point of view this is a very tough one to call and fidning a name and small stakes on the anytime market might be the only way to get involved.

COCA COLA LEAGUE
There isn't much midweek Coca Cola action apart from two league two games.
19:45 Macclesfield (2.5) Draw (3.4) Bristol R (2.7)
19:45 Shrewsbury (1.83) Draw (3.5) Wrexham (4.5)

Both games feature playoff chasing sides against sides battling to avoid relegation each side needing the points more than unfunded school after tesco's sports equipment. Macclesfield have a good home record and haven't loss their since Jan 30th when Wallsall were the visitors, Bristol Rovers though are capable of beating anyone and this looks one to swerve. The better bet could be on Shrewsbury to beat Wrexham at 1.83(better/bet direct) Shrewsbury need the win to reach the playoffs and can do it over a Wrexham side who have shown improved signs at the bottom but struggled to get past Torquay atthe weekend. With the stakes so high the value of the bet should be kept low at 1.0pts.

SCOTLAND
Dunfermline (5) Draw (3.71) Hibernian (1.73)
The bookies are making a big mistake here in over-pricing Dunfermilne they got a big confidence boosting win at the weekend in terms of survival but there not dropping off in the cup either. They were good value for at least the draw last time around and bet365 and totesport should be thanked for their 5.0 offer.
Worth a one point stake. With one point on the draw after ninety minutes.

NON LEAGUE
Nationwide Conference
23 Apr 19:45 Rushden & D'monds v Northwich 1.80 3.40 3.75
24 Apr 19:45 Grays Athletic v Kidderminster 1.83 3.50 3.50
24 Apr 19:45 Halifax v Crawley Town 1.90 3.50 3.25

Conference North
24 Apr 19:45 Redditch v Gainsborough 2.00 3.40 3.00
24 Apr 19:45 Workington v Droylsden 2.37 3.50 2.37

Conference South
24 Apr 19:45 Eastbourne Borough v Newport County 2.10 3.50 2.75
24 Apr 19:45 Eastleigh v Bishop's Stortford 2.75 3.50 2.10
24 Apr 19:45 Farnborough v Fisher Athletic 2.20 3.50 2.60
24 Apr 19:45 Histon v Thurrock 1.61 3.50 4.50
24 Apr 19:45 Salisbury v Havant and W 2.10 3.40 2.80

Southern League Premier
23 Apr 19:45 Northwood v Merthyr 2.87 3.40 2.10
24 Apr 19:45 Hitchin v Clevedon Town 2.20 3.50 2.60
24 Apr 19:45 Mangotsfield v Stamford 2.20 3.50 2.60
25 Apr 19:45 King's Lynn v Team Bath 2.30 3.50 2.50
26 Apr 19:45 Maidenhead Utd v Banbury 1.50 3.75 5.50

Unibond Premier Division
24 Apr 19:45 Fleetwood Town v Mossley 1.28 4.50 8.00
24 Apr 19:45 Matlock Town v Prescot Cables 1.40 4.20 6.00
24 Apr 19:45 Witton Albion v AFC Telford 2.20 3.50 2.60
25 Apr 19:45 Whitby v Ashton Utd 1.90 3.40 3.25

NBA BASKETBALL
SERIES ODDS

EASTERN CONFERENCE
DETROIT(1) V ORLANDO(8)
current score 2-0
odds 1.02 and 21.0
series thoughts: An extremely small but worthwhile bet could be on the correct series odds, at 4-0 and 4-1. Detroit are good value to not drop too many in a series they are showing early signs of dominating. Orlando though should be not disheartened they are enough signs in palce that they could get a game but two might be unlucky. The 4-0 and 4-1 at 3.15 and 2.1 will still return profit.

Cleveland(2) v Washington (7)
current score:1-0
odds: 1.04 and 12.0
series thoughts: One game down and much as expected Washington are struggling without their injured super duo, like asking Lex Luther to take on Superman with his bare hands and without a fiendish evil plan and evil laugh. The fact of the matter is that cavs will win this one and with a bit to spare and at 2.42 the rout or 2.22 the 4-1 look well worth backing.

TORONTO(3) V NEW JERSEY (6)
current score: 0-1
odds: 2.58 and 1.61
series thoughts: You have to love Lawrence Frank well it's not compulsory but you can admire him at least. My favourite moment of the NBA playffs so far is seeing all the Rps fan dressing in red to support their team and the Nets coming to play in red uniforms. I took the Nets to win the conference at 26.0 and they've now shot down. There is no reason why you shouldn't take them at their current odds of 15.o each way with Hills and Ladbrokes to win the conference. Also it's worth getting on new jersey to win the series 4-2 or 4-1 at 2.5/6.2 with betfair.

CHICAGO(4) V MIAMI (5)
current score: 1-0
odds: 1.51/2.92
series thoughts: So far this series has gone as expected with the home advantage, this of any of the games could be the one that goes to the last game even the last possesion.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
DALLAS (1) V GOLDEN STATE (8)
current score: 0-1
odds: 1.21/5.0
series thoughts: When does a win become a crisis, if the Warriors were to make this series two nil, and it's highly possible. At 6.0 with betfair they are worth a small back t win the next game, maybe Avery Johnson will learn from his mistake and go big, the stars can't play so bad again but on the off chance that the Warriors really have something these are great odds.
PHOENIX (2) V LA LAKERS (7)
current score: 1-0
odds: 1.06/16.0
series thoughts: Game one seemed to about sum up this whole series, Kobe will have sells where he seems unstoppable, smart coach D'Antoni will adjust and stop him and Kobe will adjust again. Kobe will get no support, Marion, barbosa, Stoudamire and of course Nash will catch fire, Lakers in five at odds of 2.2.
SAN ANTONIO (3) V DENVER (6)
current score: 0-1
odds: 1.42/3.1
series thoughts: Denver did everything they had to do and did it well in game one but can they repeat all the tricks in game two, I'm not sure they can and the Spurs will only up their shooting come pressure time, the series will now stretch and take the Spurs to win in six or seven at betfair with odds of 4.1/3.15.
HOUSTON(4) V UTAH (5)
current score: 2-0
odds: 1.06/6.0
series thoughts: First the good news for Utah fans T-Mac lead sides have let their first round lead slip before and Utah still has home games. The badnews is that T-Mac is on fire and Deron has yet to catch fire, they are signs for the Jazz and they will be that much tougher on their homecourt. Get on the rockets to win in six or seven at 5.6/6.6 with betfair.

CRICKET WORLD CUP SEMI FINALS
TUESDAY 24-04-2007
14:30 Sri Lanka (1.75) New Zealand (2.31)
WEDNESDAY 25-04-2007
14:30 Australia (1.42) South Africa (3.3)
TITLE ODDS
Australia 1.95
Sri Lanka 5.3
South Africa 6
New Zealand 6.7

Four teams and just three games left and the end is finally in sight in the neverending soap opera that is the Cricket worldcup, how will it end, will it be the ovcious Australia, will there be a twist winner like one of the other three, or will we wake up and find it was all just a dream or something we imagined in the shower. Chances are it will be an Australia win, very good chances are. Those who are looking for some betting value should check out the range of specials on offer at Stan James for the semi finals, they offer odds on top scoring captain, top scoring opener, top wicketkeeper, and top allrounder, amongst others.
Hayden is on great form and at 2.75 looks great value to be the pick of the openers, 2pts with Stan james.

SPORT DIARY FOR WEEK
Tuesday, April 24

FOOTBALL: Champions League semi-final: Manchester United v AC Milan (1945)
League Two: Macclesfield v Bristol Rovers. Shrewsbury v Wrexham.
CRICKET: World Cup semi-final, Kingston.
RUGBY UNION: Guinness Premiership: Bristol v Leicester.
Magners League: Llanelli v Ospreys (1935).
TENNIS: Barcelona: SEAT Open. Casablanca: Hassan II Grand Prix. Budapest: Women's Grand Prix.
SNOOKER: Sheffield: World Championship.
SQUASH: Dublin: Irish Open.
BOWLS: Australia: World Cup.
RACING: Bath. Folkestone. Southwell. Towcester. Wolverhampton. Punchestown.
NHL/NBA PLAYOFFS.

Wednesday, April 25
FOOTBALL: Champions League semi-final first leg: Chelsea v Liverpool (1945).
CRICKET: World Cup semi-final, Gros Islet.
LV County Championship Division One: Surrey v Hampshire. Warwickshire v Sussex. Yorkshire v Durham.
Division Two: Essex v Glamorgan. Leicestershire v Somerset. Middlesex v Northamptonshire. Gloucestershire v Nottinghamshire.
University matches: Cambridge UCCE v Derbyshire. Durham UCCE v Lancashire. Kent v Cardiff UCCE. Worcestershire v Loughborough UCCE.
RUGBY UNION: Magners League: Cardiff v Dragons (1910).
TENNIS: Barcelona: SEAT Open. Casablanca: Hassan II Grand Prix. Budapest: Women's Grand Prix.
SNOOKER: Sheffield: World Championship.
BOWLS: Australia: World Cup.
RACING: Catterick. Epsom. Kempton. Perth. Worcester. Punchestown.
NHL/NBA PLAYOFFS

Thursday, April 26
FOOTBALL: UEFA Cup semi-final first legs.
CRICKET: LV County Championship Division One: Surrey v Hampshire. Warwickshire v Sussex. Yorkshire v Durham.
Division Two: Essex v Glamorgan. Leicestershire v Somerset. Middlesex v Northamptonshire. Gloucestershire v Nottinghamshire.
University matches: Cambridge UCCE v Derbyshire. Durham UCCE v Lancashire. Kent v Cardiff UCCE. Worcestershire v Loughborough UCCE.
GOLF: Madrid: Spanish Ope. Irving: EDS Byron Nelson Championship.
TENNIS: Barcelona: SEAT Open. Casablanca: Hassan II Grand Prix. Budapest: Women's Grand Prix.
SNOOKER: Sheffield: World Championship.
BOWLS: Australia: World Cup.
RACING: Beverley. Fontwell. Perth. Southwell. Yarmouth. Punchestown.
NHL/NBA PLAYOFFS

LIVESPORT ON TV
13:30 BBC2 Day 4 World Snooker Championship
14:30 British Eurosport Day 4 World Snooker Championship
14:30 Sky Sports 1 Semi-final World Cup
19:00 BBC2 /
British Eurosport Day 4 World Snooker Championship
19:35 Setanta Sports 1 /
Setanta Ireland /
S4C Scarlets v Ospreys Magners League
19:45 ITV1 Manchester Utd v Milan UEFA Champions League Semi-final 1st Leg
19:45 Sky Sports 2 Hibernian v Dunfermline Scottish Cup Semi-final Replay
20:35 NASN Detroit v LA Angels MLB
Wednesday 25th April
00:00 Setanta Ireland Houston v Pittsburgh MLB
00:00 NASN Conf. Quarter-finals Game 7 NHL Play-offs
01:00 Five TBC NBA
03:00 NASN Conf. Quarter-finals Game 7 NHL Play-offs
10:00 British Eurosport /
BBC Interactive (10:00-23:00) Day 5 World Snooker Championship
14:00 BBC2 (not N. Ireland) Day 5 World Snooker Championship
14:30 Sky Sports 1 Semi-final World Cup
15:30 British Eurosport Day 5 World Snooker Championship
18:10 NASN Colorado v NY Mets MLB
18:30 Sky Sports 2 Semi-final World Cup
19:00 BBC2 Day 5 World Snooker Championship
19:45 Sky Sports 1 Chelsea v Liverpool UEFA Champions League Semi-final 1st Leg
20:30 British Eurosport Day 5 World Snooker Championship
Thursday 26th April
00:00 NASN Conf. Semi-finals Game 1 NHL Play-offs
03:00 NASN Conf. Semi-finals Game 1 NHL Play-offs
07:00 Setanta Golf Pine Valley Beijing Open Day 1 Asian Tour
10:00 BBC Interactive (10:00-23:00) Day 6: 2nd Round World Snooker Championship
11:00 Sky Sports 1 Open De Espana Day 1 Euro Tour
13:00 BBC2 (not N. Ireland) Day 6: 2nd Round World Snooker Championship
14:00 British Eurosport Day 6: 2nd Round World Snooker Championship
16:00 Sky Sports 1 Open De Espana Day 1 Euro Tour
17:30 British Eurosport Dinamo Moscow v Charleroi UEFA Fustal Cup Semi-final
18:00 Setanta Golf Henrico County Open Day 1 Nationwide Tour
19:00 MUTV Liverpool v Manchester Utd Reserves
19:00 BBC2 (not N. Ireland / Scotland) /
British Eurosport Day 6: 2nd Round World Snooker Championship
19:30 Sky Sports 1 Peter Manley v Dennis Priestley, Adrian Lewis v Phil Taylor, Raymond van Barneveld v Roland Scholten, Terry Jenkins v Colin Lloyd Premier League
19:30 Sky Sports 3 Widnes v Halifax National League One
19:45 Sky Sports 2 /
Sky Sports HD2 Manchester Utd v Liverpool FA Youth Cup Final 2nd Leg
19:45 Setanta Ireland (N. Ireland only) Semi-final 1st Leg UEFA Cup
19:45 ITV4 Osasuna v Sevilla UEFA Cup Semi-final 1st Leg
20:00 British Eurosport 2 Boomerang Interviu v Murcia UEFA Futsal Cup Semi-finals
20:00 Setanta Golf /
Setanta Sports 1 EDS Byron Nelson Championship Day 1 PGA Tour
Friday 27th April
00:00 NASN Conf. Semi-finals Game 1 NHL Play-offs
01:00 Setanta Ireland Detroit v Chicago WS MLB
03:00 NASN Conf. Semi-finals Game 1 NHL Play-offs
07:00 Setanta Golf Pine Valley Beijing Open Day 2 Asian Tour
10:00 British Eurosport /
BBC Interactive (10:00-23:00) Day 7: 2nd Round World Snooker Championship
11:00 Sky Sports 1 Open De Espana Day 2 Euro Tour

In the meanwhile have a good sports weekend and in the meanwhile I'm out of here quicker than a guy doing any of these things on a first date.
1. Do not tell her how many girls you’ve slept with! Whether the number is one, 11 or 111, this is information that should be saved for a later time. A much later time.
2. Do not tell her about the time you got arrested for indecent exposure!
Hold off all discussions of your criminal record until at least Date #3.
3. Do not tell her about the time you watched television for 72 hours straight!
She'll probably find out about your couch potato-ness soon enough.
4. Do not tell her about the time you snogged your sexy third cousin!
Ok, the cousin might not have been a blood relation, but your date will nonetheless find the whole thing extremely gross.
5. Do not tell her your Area 51 theories!
Also, it'd probably be best to not mention your obsession with the Kennedy assassination.
6. Do not tell her she looks good enough to eat!
That line stinks on so many levels.
7. Do not tell her your salary!
Talking about money too early is a lose/lose proposition.
8. Do not tell her about your porn stash!
Self-explanatory.
9. Do not tell her about your college trip to Amsterdam!
Also self-explanatory.
10. Do not tell her about your imaginary friend!
Cute when you're five, scary when you're 31.